Friday, September 08, 2006

How to capture batman 101

So I was informed that a great many celebs will be descending upon the T. in a day or so...Including Christian Bale aka. Batman/crazy guy from American Psycho. In light of this information I have deduced a few tips (which I will be putting to the test come Monday) on how to capture Mr. Bale
1) Arm oneself with a burlap sac (extra large) and catnip (if batman lore proves true, it'll remind him of one Selina Kyle)
2) Prepare one's body and face so that one stands out from the rest of the air-head, blond bimbos who may also be after the target. Some ideas about attire themes are: Goth, Raver, Dominatrix (extra points for using p.v.c. in one's outfit as a subliminal reference to a certain villain), or for the target's undivided attention, sweet lolita (all white and ruffles stand out on Toronto's streets)
3) Work on one's explanation for the capture. Something like "relax, I'm taking you to my all girls, hot, sweaty residence, where no authority figures are ever present, for a group 'interview'" should suffice.
Note: extra points shall be given to anyone who captures not only the prime target, but also a secondary target such as Heath Ledger (the upcoming Joker) or Cillian Murphey. If more than one target is captured orders are to combine the two in the extra large burlap sac, shake vigorously, and hope that an extra pretty by-product capable of serving a fan-girl's every whim is produced.

Posted by T.W // 11:07 AM

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I'm a circus-performing, crazy- horse riding, costume- designing, comic book- reading university student who owns way too much Mac makeup. It's disturbing, really, just how much I have. But I'm bloody awesome anyway.



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I had a dream where my dad was a keeper of some sort of tokens or objects that would turn whoever found them into superheroes. The catch was as soon as anyone touched these objects some signal went out to some sort of ninjas/bad people who promptly then tried to hunt my dad and I down. But I had super powers so it was all good!

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